What Is A 'Shorty?
by Don't-Deserve-To-Be-Saved
Summary: It had been a long week, and Dean wasn't exactly in the mood to put up with Cas' questions. But he'll be damned if anything actually went his way for once. Maybe Dean shouldn't have introduced the angel to crappy day time T.V.
1. April Fools

"You did what?"

The Sasquatch with long, shaggy, brown hair looked at his older idiot of a brother incredulously. He could not believe what he had just been told. The smaller man kept his eyes on the road, smirking at his sibling's reaction. With a laugh he repeated what he had said.

"I seduced our angel friend into playing a game. A game called Naked Hide & Seek. Which then turned into Butt Sex. And then he dropped the bomb. Which was big, but not as big as his d-"

"STOP IT RIGHT THERE DEAN!"

"Angels can get preggo, Sammy," Dean continued, all amusement gone from his face. "Very, very preggo. And we want you and Bobby to be the godparents. It would mean a lot to us."

Sam looked at his brother with disgust. Upon seeing it, Dean placed a comforting hand on his younger brother's knee. Tears welled up in his eyes and he started wailing about he just wanted him to understand, and he was his only family. They could make it through, they just had to talk about it. Everything wold be okay, right? Right, Sammy?

"Okay, cut the crap Dean. Tell me the truth." The giant man stared at the smaller who had suddenly gone quiet, studying him. Then realization hit him. "You knocked up Lisa for real this time, right? This what all this about. Jesus, Dean. As if we didn't have enough shit to get through. You just HAD to get get your booty call preg-"

Dean pulled over to the side of the road and jumped out of the car. Sam got out, slammed the door, and followed him. He knew he shouldn't have called Dean's ex a whore, but it was kinda true. Still, he didn't want his brother mad agian. Dean was finally in a good mood for once. Maybe it was because he...hooked up with Cas. Sam decided he would at least try and be supportive. So he was surprised to find the older blond just sitting on the trunk of the impala laughing his ass off.

"Aww, man. I had you going there for a second didn't I? Happy late April Fools, Sammy!" Dean laughed some more when he saw Sam's best bitch face being directed towards him. "Oh come on! You didn't really think I would do that to Cas would you?"

Sam gave him a look that said 'well..." Dean looked at him, clearly grossed out.

That's just fucking nasty. I would NEVER... I mean, it's Cas and... Gross! You know I like chicks! I mean come on Sammy! Titties all the way!"

"Okay, Dean. I get it! Jeez. Was that last part really necessary?" Sam held up his hand upon seeing Dean's smirk, "Don't answer that."

"Haha, alright Sammy. Joke's over. We better hurry back to the motel, Cas is probably still watching T.V, waiting for us-" His eyes went big and he met Sam's eyes.

"What. The. Hell. Did you just say?" The younger Winchester's eyes were dangerous and dark. "Dean. Repeat what you just said, and tell me it was another dumb joke."

"I was going to tell you."

"Tell me when? Dean do you not understand how dangerous that is? Why didn't you tell me? We could have held off the trip the Bela's. How on earth could you do something so risky like that?"

"He worked some of his angel mojo on me! He said "We should probably wait to tell Sam about this." Then he put two fingers to my head and I forgot about it up until now! But it doesn't matter that much, Sammy."

The Moose looked at Dean incredulously. "Doesn't matter? Doesn't matter? Dean! He could be so influenced by that crap he sees on T.V. he's an angel. He doesn't understand anything about the media. He could end up going crazy, like Gabriel!"

The older hunter rolled his eyes. "Sam, it's bad to put someone as innocent as Cas in front of the T.V, but I'm pretty sure everything will be just fine. Now get in the damn car."

Sam huffed and stomped to the car, slamming the door extra hard to show Dean how pissed he really was. 'Great, now I'm throwing two year old temper tantrums.' He thought to himself 'Things couldn't get any worse.'

Lol.

Let's all pretend that I didn't just write out the most obvious 'cliffhanger' ever.

I could write the rest out in the last 20 minutes of my class, but let's face it, it would have been a shit ending. So instead I'll do it tonight to make sure it's full of witty dialogue.

I'm the only person who can see my drafts obviously, but if you could see it you would definitely agreee that I need to do something more funny and less angsty.

Hope you enjoyed the first part! The plot bunnies wouldn't leave me alone until I wrote this down :)

By The Way, I don't own Supernatural. If I did a LOT of people would still be alive right now!


	2. I Do Not Understand

Sam hated Dean's smug look when they had reached the motel and found Cas trying to figure out how to work the remote. He wasn't trying to find Neil and Mozzie to tell them what they were doing was wrong. He wasn't tracking down Steve Rogers to tell him he was on the right track to heaven and he was a great man. Cas was just sitting there, having a staring contest with the remote. The remote lost of course, the frigging angel never blinks.

"Hey ya, Cas. Did you want to change the channel or something? Here." Dean took the remote and changed the channel to watch Doctor Sexy M.D. He grinned and handed the remote back to the rather confused looking angel.

"Thank you, Dean. I am very grateful for your assistance. The one I was watching before kept stopping at the good parts and tell me that I could buy medicine for my pets. But I don't have any pets, Dean. Do I need I get one?"

Sam laughed, relieved that the television hadn't made him crazy like his older archangel brother. "No Cas, you don't need to get a pet. They're called commercials. They're advertisements, they try to get you to buy stuff you don't need. And the companies pay the T.V channels to play their ad, so people will see it."

Cas tilted his head in confusion, he seemed to be thinking about something. "Sam, may I get a pet?"

Sam laughed again, and shook his head. "Naw. They wouldn't like being on the road all the time and-"

"And they could scratch up my baby's seats, and then it would have die." Dean interrupted, never once looking away from his guilty pleasure, Doctor Sexy M.D.

"But," Cas started, looking at Dean with hurt eyes, "I could take care of it. I would make sure that it would not hurt your Impala, although it is only a automobile."

Dean scoffed, and Sam could tell that he was about to get angry with Cas for saying the Impala was just a car. But as it turned out, when he saw Cas's pleading face, all anger left him. Dean sighed in defeat. He knew he couldn't win, not when Cas was using the puppy eyes on him.

"Fine! But if it steps a toe over the line, I will throw it into the closest pound. And it better be small!"

Castiel's face lit up with joy. Sam was secretly glad they were getting a pet. Even if it would be with Cas most of time, he was still excited. John had never let Sam or Dean have a pet, no matter how long they begged. Their dad had said it was dangerous on the road, and it could get killed or left behind. He told them that they would get too attached to it, and if something like that happened they would be crushed.

"What ever you get, do _not_ get a cat."

The three men had went to the nearest pet shop to get Cas a new companion. After Dean had told Cas cats were horrible pets, he was looking at the dogs, trying to convince the angel a bulldog would be great for a pet. But Cas wasn't convinced and mumbled about the dog being one of his father's... less attractive creations.

While Dean was playing tug-of-war with the puppy called Sid, Sam looked at the reptiles. He thought the snakes looked really cool when they moved around. He watched in amused horror as a giant snake ate a mouse whole. He showed it to the angel, but he said it reminded him of Lucifer. Sam felt bad and continued to look it the snakes without trying to tell Cas what to get.

It had been about ten minutes since they got there when Sam was finished with looking at the cool animals. He saw that Dean was chatting up one of the rather busty employees; to the blonde's disappointment it wasn't getting him anywhere. Sam watched Dean admit defeat and started to walk away. He didn't get very far when he ran into yet another employee. Sam tried to hold in his laughter when Dean completely fell on the ground. The worker bent down to help him up, when Dean used some lame pick up line. The worker laughed, and hauled him to his feet.

It was then that Dean's eyes went big. That worker wasn't a women. It was a man. A rather attractive one too, seeing as all the girls were practically fawning over him. Tony (that's what his name tag said anyway) looked at Dean, clearly checking him out. Sam could see his brother trying desperately to think of a way to get out of the awkward situation, when Tony's boss yelled at him to meet him in the back. Dean exhaled, and looked relieved. But only a moment too soon. Tony grabbed Dean and pulled him into a rather passionate kiss. He pulled away after a minute, smacked Dean's ass, winked, and walked away.

Sam could not stop laughing, he thought that he probably couldn't even if his life depended on it. The look on Dean's face was priceless. Sammy would never let him live this one down.

"Sam? Why did that man kiss Dean?"

Sam turned around to find Cas, holding a big box in his arms. Ignoring his curiosity for a moment, he answered with a loud laugh.

"One of the workers thought Dean was hitting on him and-"

Castiel looked horrified and slightly confused. "But Dean didn't hit that man, and he never would without thinking he was secretly a monster. Sam, I do not feel any negative energy coming from that worker. He is completely innocent!"

Sam held up his hands "Woah, calm down. Hitting on someone is another way to say flirting, that's all." He continued explaining the situation. "Tony, that's what I think his name is anyway, flirted back. Just in a more, uh, strait forward way than Dean."

"Dean did not appreciate this gesture of love?"

Sam looked at his friend, unsure of how to explain the difference of being strait and being gay to the confused angel.

"Well, Cas. Well, the thing is... is that," Sammy cleared his throat, "You know how marriage works, right?"

Cas nodded eagerly, happy to share his knowledge. "Marriage is an act of love, respect, and devotion between a man and a woman that will last forever."

"Good, good. Only sometimes it isn't a man and a woman. Sometimes two girls fall in love, and sometimes two men fall in love. There isn't anything wrong with it, but people tend to have their own preference. That man thought Dean was gay so-"

Sam was interrupted by his friend once again. "But Sam, Dean is happy. Or has he been lying to us all this time about how he feels?"

"No. no! Being gay is just another way to say you like someone of the same gender." Sam's face was getting rather red now, Cas just wasn't going to make this easy for him. "Anyway, Tony thought Dean was gay, and showed affection for him. But the thing is, Dean only likes women."

The angel's face fell. "So... Dean does not care about us?"

"No, Cas, no!" Sam said quickly, upon seeing tears welling in the shorter man's eyes. "We're his family. Of course he cares about us! He just wouldn't want to marry us, that's all. So, what's in the box?" The younger Winchester asked, trying to distract Castiel, who (thankfully) was beginning to look less confused and sad.

Cas smiled shyly. "It's my new friend. It even looks like the one in the advertisement I saw. I took the liberty to order the medicine the woman on the television was telling me about, while you and Dean were gone. But I am not sure if Dean will like it." He looked worried as he finished his last sentence.

Just as Sam was about to comfort his friend, Dean came running over to them and said, "Let's get out of here!" His face was beet red as he turned to sneak a glance at the woman he was flirting with previously. She was giggling with another friend, clearly finding great amusement at the rather homo erotic scene that had just happened.

Dean practically flew to the Impala, with Cas and Sam in tow. He started the car and sped away, ignoring Sam's mumbles about being thankful Cas had already paid for everything.

After driving for a few minutes, Dean calmed down. He looked in the backseat to see Cas peering inside his box, smiling affectionately.

"So, Cas. What did you get?" Dean was wishing with all his might that it was a pit bull puppy or bulldog.

Castiel smiled, gingerly lifted the animal out of the box, and put it on his lap. Dean cussed in disgust, while Sam cooed some nonsense and asked him what his name was.

Cas looked it over thoughtfully. After a moment he said, "I shall name it Loki. Loki will stay with me even when you are hunting."

Loki peered up at Cas. Dean returned his gaze to the road thinking back to how he told Castiel specifically NOT to get a cat. And what did he do? He got a friggin' cat. Sure it was kinda cute, with it's big green eyes and fluffy black fur, but no good ever came from cats. Dean hoped it ended up being a witch in disguise so he had a reason to get rid of the stupid thing.

Dean glanced at the backseat again, and uttered more profanity. It was looking right at him with big, innocent, hopeful eyes. Now he was hopelessly out numbered. It would be him against three adorable eyed, stubborn creatures in every argument from here on out.

_Fuck._

**_A/N I was planning on having Cas get a mischievous cat, and then I re-read my most favorite Avenger story ever on fanfiction called 'Nine Lives'. I was having some trouble thinking of a fitting name for a naughty kitty, so when I read 'Nine lives' I thought, why not name it Loki?_**

**_You should really check out the story! It's about how Loki's magic isn't strong and he's stuck as a cute little kitty, when Pepper Potts finds him and gives it to Tony Stark as a gift. Tony had fought the God rather recently, and he decided with the cat having black fur, green eyes, and a pissy attitude he would name it Loki. Loki grows fond of him (still stuck as a cat) and hilarity ensues!_**

**_I cannot remember the author's username unfortunatly, but I think it might be something like MaverickFlame... I promise my story won't be anything like hers. I just like the idea of Loki as a cat. That sounds weird doesn't it? Oh well._**

**_Review!_**


End file.
